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House M.D. Paraphrased

  • Patient:

    *does something weird*

  • Foreman/Chase/Cameron:

    It's not that weird

  • House:

    It's weird

  • Foreman/Chase/Cameron:

    Here's the best diagnosis we can come up with the tests and symptoms provided.

  • House:

    Good job, but you're wrong.

  • House:

    And btw it's not lupis, stop asking.

  • House:

    *treats for disease unrelated to symptoms*

  • Patient:

    *gets better*

  • House:

    See, that's why-

  • Patient:

    *gets not better*

  • Foreman/Chase/Cameron:

    Here's the best diagnosis we can come up with the new tests and symptoms provided.

  • House:

    You're wrong again. Why do I keep you idiots?

  • House:

    *treats for disease unrelated to symptoms*

  • Patient:

    *gets better*

  • House:

    I'm the be-

  • Patient:

    *gets not better*

  • Wilson:

    *says something witty yet triggering*

  • House:

    *uses wilson's advice and foreman/chase/cameron's diagnosis to make a real diagnosis*

  • Patient:

    *stays better*

  • House:

    I'm so smart.

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